8 Funny Nursing Stories (That Are Actually Real)

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Funny nursing stories make for some of the most amusing stories.  While one can always find humor in the workplace, in the case of nurses, we unexpectedly come across funny situations when we’re seriously providing healthcare to our patients. Nurses are as funny as their patients when humor strikes the shift!

Take a break and let’s all have a good laugh at the following funny nursing stories as told by real nurses:

1. Bowel Prep

My patient was on bowel prep for an endoscopy procedure. She is very sweet but often forgets things quickly because of dementia.

To start the bowel prep, I gave her a laxative mixed in a glass of juice. I explained to her that it will induce several bowel movements in the next hours.

After four hours, my patient peeked in the station and signaled for me to come with her in her room.

“Darling, I really like you as my nurse but I have something to tell you.”

“Sure, no problem.  What is it?”

My patient motioned for me to come even closer.

She whispered conspiratorially, “I believe the water you used for my juice gave me dysentery. But don’t worry I won’t tell your bosses. I just want to let you know so you don’t get dysentery as well.”

By: H.C.M

Also Read: 250 Funniest Nursing Quotes and eCards

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2. Kill it Off

I was the only nurse on duty during the morning shift and together with a nursing aide, we were caring for 5 newborn babies. We liked to talk in shortened sentences to save time and incredibly, we could understand each other easily.

During the shift, one of the babies being monitored was undergoing photolight therapy with standard order of resting intervals whenever her body temperature became elevated. While providing morning care to another baby, our nursing aide shouted from the other side of our unit.

“Hey, baby G’s temp is 37.6.  Shall I kill the lights off?”

“Wait, I’ll double check the chart.”

Unnoticed by us, a relative approached our area to borrow a pen.

“Yeah, 37.6 is not safe.  Kill it off!”

“You better be sure.  This is not going to be easy! She’s gonna cry hard!”

I glanced at the relative and she was looking positively horrified! She didn’t know that we were just talking about the photolight machine that had a very noisy light switch.

By: Melanie H. and Addie K.

Read Also: Top This: 10 Funny Nursing Memes and Quotes to Complete Your Day

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3. Nurse Needs First Aid

I was being oriented in the ER Department since I was just newly hired. All of a sudden, everyone in the unit became busy with a series of patients involved in a vehicular accident. With two codes ongoing simultaneously, I volunteered to help them with the other patients.

When I approached the first bed, I recognized that the patient was a famous actor. He was disturbingly handsome, but I contained all my thoughts and acted professionally.

“I’m going to take your blood pressure. Would you like me to help you take off your jacket?”

“No, thank you.  I can do it.”

I dropped my pen so I bent down to pick it up. When I got up, he was already topless! I froze and turned red.

“What’s wrong? I thought you’re going to take my BP.”

“I just said to take off your jacket and not your whole shirt!

My heart was pounding fast as I approached him and inflated the BP cuff. I really thought I would need to be resuscitated right at that moment!

By: ShyNurse

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4. There Should Be Only One

I work in a mental health facility and my favorite patients are often fighting each other. They both believe that they are Jesus Christ and they both argue that there should be only one.

So to prove their divine supremacy over each other, they would challenge themselves to perform miracles. The first one to perform a miracle is the real Messiah.

I knew it was time to leave when one of them announced that he could turn pee into beer!

By: 14U

Read Also: 30 Funniest Things Patients Say

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5. Saggy Stuff

My 84 year old patient often forgets that she is on a foley catheter. While emptying her urine bag, she asked me what it was.

“This is where your urine leaves your body.”

“Oh and here I was thinking the only things sagging from me are my breasts!”

By: Nurse Meredith

6. Eat the Patient

Everyone in the unit was busy helping with a code when suddenly, one of our patient’s blood glucose dropped to 72 mg/dL. Another nurse in our unit referred it to the resident on duty and he ordered to advise patient to eat her breakfast first.

The harried nurse wrote down his order on the patient’s chart and went on to her other duties.  When the patient’s attending physician came, he was very surprised.  The frazzled nurse had written, “Advise to eat patient!”

By: P. Hartman

Read Also: 30 Hilarious Hospital Chart Bloopers (That Are Actually Real)

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7. Extra Thick Underwear

I was caring for an elderly patient diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. I changed her diaper after six hours and became worried because it was completely dry. She was receiving doses of furosemide intravenously and she should have had lots of urine output by that time.

When I got back to her room, I was surprised to see her coming out of the comfort room.

“Did you pee?”

“Yes.”

“But that’s what your diaper is for.  You don’t need to get up and go to the bathroom.”

“Oh, I thought it was just extra thick and extra warm underwear!”

By: Billy25

Also Read: “Say What?” The 15 Funniest Medical Terms Used by Clueless Patients

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8. So Big

I was tending to one of our senior patients who was known on the floor for being a timid and shy soul.  One day, while I was giving him a sponge bath and washing his privates, he suddenly said out of the blue, “Have you ever seen anything so big?”

I was surprised not so much by his words, but because he didn’t seem the type to talk about penises.

I was trying to come up with a suitable answer when he added, “My mother told me once that these have got to be the biggest damn feet she has ever seen!”

By: Nurse4Ever

Also Read: Top 10 Funny Nursing Quotes to Brighten Up Your Day

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How about you? Do you have any funny nursing stories to share? Let us know in the comments!

 

About the Author: Je Abarra is a nurse by profession and a freelance writer by passion. She is working as a staff nurse in the pediatric ward of a private city hospital for more than two years. During her free time, she usually writes about her fascinations in health and nursing. She loves to provide tips and fun facts about nursing and healthy living.