40 Funniest Pick-Up Lines For Nurses

funniest pick up lines for nurses

The number of nurses experiencing burnout is quite alarming. About one-third of nurses in the country was found to be experiencing “high burnout”. For people who are on the front line of providing patient care, this can spell more problems.

You see, high levels of stress and burnout can negatively affect your decision-making skills and your relationship with your patients. There’s also the risk of committing errors because of fatigue. And when you’re less satisfied with your work, the more likely you’ll leave the profession.

Now, before you actually remove your nursing cap and hang your uniform, why not try to loosen up and use humor to reduce stress at work? We actually have a handful of really good pick-up lines for nurses that will surely brighten up your day.

1I wish I was your coronary artery, so that I could be wrapped around your heart.

2I need medical attention! I hurt myself pretty bad falling for you.

3Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

4I don’t want an apple a day, because I don’t want you to go away.

5Emphysema puffs pink, chronic bronchitis makes you blue, but no COPD makes me as breathless as you.

6Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.

7Please don’t be too sweet. I might get Diabetes!

8You must be the one for me… Since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.

9Did you hear that? Even my heart murmurs, “I love you!”

10You’re in the wrong profession. You shouldn’t be a nurse. You should be my husband.


Are you lost Ma’am? Because heaven is a long way from here.

12I am hemophilic for you, because you paint my town red!

13Did you damage my cerebellum? Because I’m falling all over the place for you.

14Do you have an inhaler? You took my breath away.

15Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

16Do you have my other lung? Because I’ve been LUNG-ing for you.

17You make my dopamine levels all silly.

18Is it just my olfactory or you just really smell good.

19Are you Broca’s Aphasia? Because you leave me speechless.

20I’m no organ donor, but I’d happy to give you my heart.

21You breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.

22Can you be my proximal because I don’t want to be distal to you.

23You must be the cure for Alzheimer’s, because you’re unforgettable.

24Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you.

25Can I take your temperature? Because you’re looking hot today.

26My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.

27You get my heart racing like an epinephrine drip.

28I think I’m developing tics. I just can’t help but wink at you.

29I think you are suffering from a lack of Vitamin Me.

30I’m a doctor and I have just diagnosed you with a-cute smile.

31Your calves must be aching. Because you’ve been back-marching through my mind all day.

32Erythrocytes are red, cyanosis is blue. I get tachycardia when I think of you.

33We should get some coffee…  Because I’m liking you a latte.

34Hey, don’t stress about pharmacology. Love is the only drug we’ll need.

35On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?

36Whenever I’m near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.

37Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? Because you’re making me drool.

38Excuse me, I think you dropped something: My jaw.

39You look familiar. Did we have class together? I could have sworn we had chemistry.

40Hey girl, you’re like a car accident, because I can’t look away.

If you’re wondering how these pick-up lines work, it’s about time that you try them on a gorgeous nurse you’ve been eyeing the past few days. You’ll never know unless you try.

See Also: 5 Reasons Why You Should Date a Nurse

You must be very amused reading this list of hilarious pick-up lines for nurses, but trust me, there are a whole lot more. If you have one in mind, don’t be shy—share it with us!