Top 27 Funny Nurses Quotes for Students and Professionals

funny nurses quotes

The nursing profession is one overwhelming roller-coaster ride. It’s intense, it’s nauseating, and it makes your heart pound. Despite all these,  you just hang in there hoping your safety harness doesn’t break, and finish the ride. One moment you’re dealing with a grumpy doctor and the next thing you know, a demanding patient (not including the relatives) is passionately yelling at you.

The roller coaster of emotions you deal with at work can easily burn you out. And if you’re not careful, you may end up leaving the profession. Now, before you do that, breathe in, breathe out and take these 27 funny nurses quotes by heart. Because at the end of the day, you’re a nurse – and no one deserves a good laugh more than you. 

You know you’re a nurse when your finger has gone places you never thought possible.

funny nursing nurse finger

Being a nurse is weird. I can keep a poker face through trauma but have a mental breakdown over losing my favorite pen.

funny nurse breakdown

Yes, I am a nurse. No, I don’t want to look at it.

funny i am a nurse

Once a nurse, always a nurse. No matter where you go or what you do, you can never truly get out of nursing. It’s like the Mafia… you know too much.

funny nurse mafia

Not saying I’m a big deal, but the government classifies me as essential.

nurse classified as essential

How can anybody hate nurses? Nobody hates nurses. The only time you hate a nurse is when they’re giving you an enema.

how can anybody hate nurses

I love being a nurse, but I mostly love wearing scrubs. They’re basically professional pajamas.

i love being a nurse

It would not be possible to praise nurses too highly.

praise nurses too highly

Be nice to nurses. They’re the ones who choose your catheter size.

funny nursing catheter size

The nurse that can smile when things go wrong… is probably going off duty.

happy funny nurse

I have restraints and Ativan, and I’m not afraid to use them.

nurse restraints and ativan

Be nice to me. I dispense the happy pills.

nurse happy pills

Nursing is not a career… it’s a post-apocalyptic survival skill.

nursing a post apocalyptic survival skill

TGIF? Sorry not familiar with that term… I’m a nurse.

nurse funny tgif

I was taught that the most hardworking nurse is found at the dirtiest part of the clinical ward.

funny hardworking nurse

Be nice to the Nurses. We keep the doctors from accidentally killing you.

funny be nice to the nurses quotes

Don’t mess with me. I get paid to stab people with sharp objects.

funny dont mess with nurses quotes

You can’t cure stupid, but you can sedate it.

funny nurses cant cure stupid quotes

I came. I cared. I charted.

funny nurses charted quotes

You don’t know how many truly crazy people there are in the world until you’ve worked in the medical field.

funny nurses crazy people quotes

When I eat too much dessert, I don’t post about it on facebook. If it isn’t charted, it didn’t happen.

funny nurses dessert quotes

Nurse – kind of like a doctor but nicer

funny nurses kind of like a doctor but nicer quotes

You think Mondays are bad? Try working weekends, holidays, and 12-hour nights!

funny nurse mondays

The sign outside says ‘HOSPITAL’, not ‘NARCOTIC BUFFET, ALL YOU CAN EAT’.

funny nurses narcotic buffet quotes

Nursing school is a lot like giving birth. Once it’s over, you just tend to forget just how painful the process was.

funny nursing school

While that is correct, it is not the most correct. – Nursing School

funny nurses nursing school quotes

“Do you need help repositioning the patient?” – offered by no doctor ever.

funny nurses repositioning the patient quotes