Nurses may always seem really nice to patients, but they are people too. They can get tired and emotional at times. There were days when they want to tell their patients some things, but they just couldn’t.
Here are twenty five out of the many ridiculous things that nurses want patients to know but will never tell you:
1. “Sorry. You are not shocking me with your symptoms. I’ve seen worse.”
2. “Yes, your diabetes and obesity means job security for me”
3. “Telling you that you have the right to get a second opinion is just one way of letting you know how incompetent the doctor is.”
4. “You are very welcome to tell me about your life story, but I have been on duty for fifteen good hours now, and I have nothing to tell you.”
5. “You are an idiot for waiting two weeks after your symptoms appeared before going to the Emergency Room to get checked.”
6. “I can see that you were laughing with your friends two minutes ago and I will not believe that your pain is ten out of ten.”
7. “This is a hospital, not a hotel.”
8. “We make efforts, but the hospital is still really filthy and full of germs, so you better not be too definite that it’s 100% clean out here.”
9. “Thank you for showing me your grandchildren’s pictures, but I have fifteen other patients waiting and I have no time to admire your grandkids right now.”
10. “When you ask me if I have done this before, I will always say yes even if I haven’t.”
11. “It’s not my job to get you some water or some toilet paper and even answer your phone or take out the trash.”
12. “Please don’t go to the Emergency Room for a three-week old sore throat, then ask for some soda pop every ten minutes and complain out loud about how long it is before you get entertained.”
13. “I actually do not care if you are related to the hospital administrator. Other patients need me more than you do.”
14. “When you ask me if your biopsy results have already come back and I say no, I may have just lied because I want you to wait until the doctor arrives to tell you about the results.”
15. “I know you asked for some soup, but that sound you’re hearing is my other patient’s ventilator going off!”
16. “Please get your kids out of here. This place is filthy!”
17. “I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but coming to the nurses’ station will not make things go faster.”
18. “I’m not going to give you your pain medication if I see you sleeping soundly.”
19. “No, I will not leave the room unless you swallow those tablets!”
20. “Your test results are bad, but my mouth is shut and I am not going to tell you about them in detail.”
21. “I know that your food doesn’t taste good, but you have to stop complaining and know that this is not a five-star restaurant.”
22. “I have seen things that are far worse and amazing. Please calm down!”
23. “I don’t have time to repeat the answers to the same questions. I have tons of charting to do and answering repetitive questions is definitely not helping.”
24. “Stop insisting, because I will not tell you about your family member over the phone. Whether he is stable or unstable is the only information you’re going to get.”
25. “I would love to watch the television with you, but my other patients’ need their medications now!”
Being a nurse is really fun and challenging. And it’s nice to be able to talk about funny things like these sometimes. Do you know other ridiculous things that nurses want patients to know but will never tell them? Share the fun with us!
Also Read:
20 Things Only A True Nurse Would Understand
10 Funny Types of Nurses You Meet in the Hospital
About the Author: Mary Elizabeth Velarmino Francisco earned her Bachelor of Science in Nursing Degree from the Ateneo de Zamboanga University, Philippines. She is always happy to share her passion for writing and blogging. With coffee running through her veins, she enthusiastically battles each day, one article at a time.
